Dance as Marriage and Pre-Wedding Counseling
DANCE AS MARRIAGE AND PRE-WEDDING COUNSELING
As I teach, I often times feel like I am a mix of a teacher and therapist. The more couples I have, the more I realize what an amazing thing dance is for their relationships and how it is actually benefiting their future marriages more than they are even aware of. In many ways, dancing is marriage counseling and here are some reasons why:
1. You have to learn to work as a team
When you are learning to dance, especially a choreographed routine, it is essential that you work together. In order to make a partner routine work, it takes two. If one person doesn’t put their all into it or fights against the other person, they will not get anything accomplished. But as long as both are willing to put the effort into the dance and work hard to learn it, they will succeed. Trials will come, there will be moves that you two will get stuck on, but if you are both willing to be understanding if it is something you need to fix in order to better work for your partner, you will figure it out and have a fantastic dance.
2. If one person tries to play a role they are not supposed to, it doesn’t work
In dance, the woman is the follow and the man is the lead. That means that the woman must listen to and trust the man to lead her through the dance. It is often times hard for woman to give up control, but as soon as the woman let’s the man lead, she is no longer meeting resistance or trying to lead the dance by herself. It makes the dance so much easier for both of you. The man must be confident and willing to learn what he needs in order to be a strong leader. If he goes into the dance with this willingness, and learns how to guide her, he will be successful.
3. Woman is always right
The man always starts with his left foot in ballroom dance. The woman is always right. I like to tell the guys that this is something that you both should try to remember and that it will get you far in life.
4. Patience is key
There will be times when one of you is getting it more than the other. There will be times when your partner will mess up. Try to be patient. The harder you work and the more time and practice you have, you both will get better. And remember, you aren’t always perfect either. You can expect a mess up or two, but it is how you recover that makes all the difference.
5. Be encouraging to one another
At the end of the day, even though your first dance is extremely important, your relationship is even more so. You are also both attempting a huge challenge. Dancing (which for many is a first) and a performance for many people. Discouraging one another is a recipe for making the experience less enjoyable and giving reason to want to throw in the towel. Encouraging one another is motivating and is going to make you strive to do better.
6. Enjoy each other and be proud of your accomplishment
Most of all, try to have fun! You are getting married! And you are attempting something very few do. Dancing is a lot of hard work and putting a performance together is even more so. You should be proud of yourselves! And what a great way to start off your marriage, with something that you have built together, will keep forever, and an experience that you will never forget!
-Written by Bella Ballroom Dance Studio Instructor, Tayler